Time for Weirdos to go Hop Into the 38 Degree Ocean Again
This Saturday a bunch of horny old men, young activist women and gay chicken-bottoms will once again converge on the Virginia Beach oceanfront for the annual Polar Plunge. This is a Special Olympics benefit that brings a large assortment of presto-strangos to the frigid winter waters of the Atlantic to show off their ”pure craziness” for willing to take a dip in the arctic freeze. But this is more than a mere philanthropic opportunity to get seen on the 6 o’clock News… This is a full on showcase of nuttieness. An opportunity for someone to show off their sweet new pig costume or to baptise their retro throwback Yip Yip Alien costume, Yeah remember the Yip Yip Aliens from Sesame Street? These people have their costumes, so no doubt are they cooler than you and far more hip. We caught up with some willing participants for this year’s plunge at a local grocery store this past week during an open registration event. Jody Francis, 25 of Norfolk had this to say; “I don’t care what the cause is really, I just want to show my support. Plus I just bought this cool stuffed monkey with velcro hands to wear around my neck”. 49 year old Beach resident, Michael Turgeon said he was “most excited to show the world he’s not ashamed of his thick back hair”. Others were there just to get on television to show their own agenda. “I’m wearing a giant bloody puppy outfit into the ocean on Saturday because I want the world to know that animal abuse is wrong and something must be done”, stated Cindy Taylor of Chesapeake, a PETA employee, unaware of the irony that this is a Special Olympics benefit. “I’m looking for some young male talent in the slippery waters”, spewed Beach resident Bruce Buford. “I hope to find a very hairy bear to call my daddio” added 19 year old ODU student Chad Quiverly. Whatever it is your looking for, you’re sure to find it at this year’s Polar Plunge, unless of course it’s a conversation with a normal person.
